<body><script type="text/javascript"> function setAttributeOnload(object, attribute, val) { if(window.addEventListener) { window.addEventListener('load', function(){ object[attribute] = val; }, false); } else { window.attachEvent('onload', function(){ object[attribute] = val; }); } } </script> <div id="navbar-iframe-container"></div> <script type="text/javascript" src="https://apis.google.com/js/platform.js"></script> <script type="text/javascript"> gapi.load("gapi.iframes:gapi.iframes.style.bubble", function() { if (gapi.iframes && gapi.iframes.getContext) { gapi.iframes.getContext().openChild({ url: 'https://www.blogger.com/navbar/7763731?origin\x3dhttp://-selfdeceptions.blogspot.com', where: document.getElementById("navbar-iframe-container"), id: "navbar-iframe" }); } }); </script>

Friday, June 30, 2006

I so wanna kill myself please. I screwed up the Cheena Oral, badly. I stumbled my way through and was trying very hard to think of words to fit into the convo, but my brain was just so dead. So I just blabbered and used all sorts of weird words. To make matters worse, I just stared at the examiner when she asked me the question. I couldn't comprehend the very 'chim' word that she was saying. She explained to me in simple cheena in the end. Right. So as I was saying, I was just blabbering so much that I kept apologizing for saying all sorts of wrong things. It got so bad that the examiner asked me to calm down and take my time. Oh my. And worst of all, one of the examiner is from China! Man. I'm so dead la. I guess I will do very badly. Say byebye to my Merit. Boooooooooooo. I have no idea why I was being so nervous and all. I feel disappointed because I know I can do much better. Oh well, no point crying over spilt milk. I told you I suck at Cheena. I never was and never will be good in it.

Yesterday's English Prelim Oral was no better too. Anyway, I resolute to study like real hard. Its only 5 weeks to Prelims. I need the first 3 months for JC. And it seriously dosen't help when I need to count Chinese in my L1R5 cause they'll most prolly take my Mid year grade which is so dead for me cause I only had like a what, B3? That's pathetic.

Urrghhhh. I'm still pissed off la. Sorry people, I just can't get over the fact that I totally screwed up my one and only chance of doing well for Oral. :( Damn it. Oh, visited the angklung people for a while today. I miss them lots man. I miss playing an angklung too, its a good way of venting your anger you know. Sighhhhh.

Anyway, I'm way hyper today even though I'm sleep deprived. Don't ask me why. Maybe its because I don't feel so weighed down anymore. I think I really am not bothering so much. I think I'm much happier now though I still feel insecure at times. Aren't you proud of me, Jaime? Haha. Testicles. Hahaha. Alright. Whatever. I need to get rid of my addiction to the comp and get on with my studies. Bye people! :D

Speaking of which, Spain's out of the WC as expected. Which means, I don't have a team to support! But never mind, I'll be rooting for France JUST FOR ONCE IN MY LIFE because I simply hate Brazil. ( : Happy, Geraldine Ho Ralop!? Hahahaha!

Letting go may be hard.
But at the end of the day,
its not a matter of hard difficult it is,
but how willing you are to move forward.
I'm glad to say I'm no longer stuck in the past.